It can help you decide who you might like to tell if you take some time to think about how people might react to your news. You might find it useful to ask yourself:
- Who can I trust with the information that I am HIV positive?
- Will they offer me support?
- Will they judge me?
- Will they respect my confidentiality?
Once you have decided who to tell, you might find it useful to let them know who else you have told so that they can support each other.
You do not have to disclose your HIV status to:
- Your friends
- Your employer
- Your work colleagues
- Every doctor, dentist or other health care professional
It is wise, however, to tell health professionals you are seeing for other conditions that you are positive so that they have a clear picture of your health and can help you to make decisions about your health. Your health care provider cannot reveal your HIV status to anyone, except in extreme and unusual circumstances.
Telling your partner
If you are in a relationship with someone who is HIV negative (known as a serodiscordant relationship), or if you have multiple casual partners whose HIV status you may or may not know, you may want to tell him or her. You may be frightened of their reaction or you might be comfortable telling them the news. There is no easy way to tell your partner, or partners, and no set rules – regardless of your partner’s HIV status. It can help to have an HIV counsellor available to help you when and if you decide to tell your partner. You partner, husband or wife might also want to consider testing for HIV, especially if you have been having sex without condoms or sharing injecting equipment. Despite the fears that you might have, many people have found that they received support when they shared the news. It might even strengthen your relationship.
Telling your children
If you have children you might find it hard to find the right time to tell them. You might not even be sure you want to tell them. Some people have found that talking to other HIV positive women and men with children is helpful in making this decision. Contact your local AIDS Council or PLWHA organisation to find out about HIV positive women’s groups or other suitable groups near you.
